Individualism, Collectivism, and the weaponization of Therapy Speak
Individualism, Collectivism, and the weaponization of Therapy Speak
I’m having a rough brain fog day, but I promised myself I’d write daily. This topic struck a chord with me when I saw it on Bluesky today, so here we go.
As you may already know, I’m a Libertarian Socialist. I firmly believe in the rights of the individual, but just as strongly, I believe in our obligations to our fellow humans and our communities. Yet, an alarmingly high number of people I encounter—both online and in real life—seem entrenched in a mindset of “I want to succeed at any cost, and screw everyone else. If they just tried harder, they’d be better off.”
It’s baffling. Anyone with a shred of sense would know that sentiment is wrong. Growing up, we were taught to care for others. It was ingrained in the media we consumed: Mr. Rogers, Sesame Street, and so many other shows emphasized kindness, empathy, and community. So where did that go? What happened to “caring for your neighbor as you care for yourself”? Isn’t that a core tenet of most, if not all, major religions?
This shift in values brings me to the weaponization of therapy-speak. Over the past few years, the language of therapy has entered the mainstream. Words like “boundaries,” “trauma,” and “self-care” have empowered many to better articulate their emotions and experiences. On the surface, this seems like progress. But when these concepts are misused or taken out of context, they can become tools of harm rather than healing. Instead of fostering understanding and growth, therapy-speak can be weaponized to obscure accountability and perpetuate harm under the guise of emotional wellness.
Setting boundaries is essential for healthy relationships. However, the concept is often misapplied to avoid hard conversations or personal introspection. Claiming, “I’m setting a boundary,” might sound responsible, but it can also be a way to shut down dialogue or deflect accountability. True boundaries are about protecting yourself, not about controlling or silencing others. When misused, they can deepen misunderstandings instead of resolving them.
Therapy-speak can also be used to gaslight others into questioning their feelings or actions. Statements like “You’re projecting” or “You’re being triggered” can invalidate someone’s perspective, especially when wielded in bad faith. Rather than fostering empathy, these phrases dismiss valid concerns, leaving the other person feeling unheard and questioning their reality.
Much of therapy language has been flattened into social media soundbites, losing the nuance required for meaningful application. Phrases like “You need to cut out toxic people” might encourage necessary separations in some cases, but they can also oversimplify complex relationships. Over time, this mindset can lead to isolation rather than growth.
A key concern is how therapy-speak is used to avoid accountability. For example, framing valid criticism as “negativity” or justifying hurtful behavior as “setting boundaries” risks eroding trust and sidestepping self-reflection. Healthy relationships require both boundaries and accountability—they’re not mutually exclusive.
So, how do we counter the proliferation of weaponized therapy-speak? First, we need to return therapy concepts to those qualified to use them: therapists. Mental health is essential, and it’s great that people are taking it more seriously. But in the digital age, these tools can be wielded nefariously by unqualified individuals. Anyone with a keyboard, photo-editing software, and a smartphone can throw around therapy buzzwords, building a following and offering the illusion of help without substance.
We see it every day in social media comment sections. Suddenly, everyone’s a self-appointed lawyer, doctor, therapist, or judge with zero qualifications. You might ask, “But aren’t you doing the same thing with this post?” No. I’m not claiming to be an expert. Instead, I’m echoing the alarms sounded by actual therapists and mental health professionals. They’ve raised concerns about the harm caused by people misusing these concepts without proper training—often with harmful or exploitative intentions.
To truly address this issue, we need to make therapy and mental health resources more accessible. We must break down the barriers that keep people from pursuing legitimate help. At the same time, we must push back against the global rise of rugged individualism and isolation. Yes, the individual is important, but so are our obligations to one another. We are stronger when we support each other, both in our immediate communities and on a broader, global scale.
Let’s strive for a world where therapy-speak isn’t weaponized, where people can seek help without stigma, and where caring for our neighbors is as natural as caring for ourselves. The work won’t be easy, but it’s worth it.